you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
