he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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