Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize