I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
