i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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