I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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