you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
