My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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