i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
