? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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