guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
