oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
