8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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