Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
