And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
