You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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