Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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