i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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