He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
