my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
