every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
