What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
