he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
