Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
