i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
