So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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