there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
