Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
