You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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