Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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