i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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