She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I need a beard to bite.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
