We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
