haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
