i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
