Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have demons in me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
