I want to stick my p in your. b.
ugly people sure do ruin things
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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