you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
