Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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