so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
