did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
