Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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