So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
