you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
