I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
