all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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