My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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