was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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