Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
