Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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