when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize