I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Randomize
