What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Two words: blizzard sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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