so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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