i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
that's an acceptable place to lick
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
