i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
