remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
