just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
