is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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