Joe is yelling at the trees again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
