It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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