I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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