Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you never un-have a 4some
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
