forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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