At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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