You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
