It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
