After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
