there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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