Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
